The Andy Griffith Show Episode 113: My Fair Ernest T. Bass

Originally Aired on Feb 3, 1964.   Average User Rating: 6.7 out of 10  (1618 entries).

Andy tries to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear when he takes it upon himself to turn Ernest T. into a presentable gentleman. The big test comes at Mrs. Wiley's weekly reception when Andy tries to pass him off as his cousin. Even Andy is surprised at E.T.'s progress when Mrs. Wiley places his accent as being definitely Back Bay Bostonian, but the whole scheme blows up when Bass smashes a vase over the head of a man who won't allow him to cut in for a dance with his chosen woman.

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comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/21/2006 10:21:15 PM PST:

"Who was Mr. Schump?? I have not found a person yet that knows who played this person.......Someone had to know his name??" - Randy from TN

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/21/2006 10:21:07 PM PST:

"Who was Mr. Schump?? I have not found a person yet that knows who played this person.......Someone had to know his name??" - Randy from TN

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/21/2006 10:18:00 PM PST:

"Who was Mr. Schump?? I have not found a person yet that knows who played this person.......Someone had to know his name??" - Randy from TN

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/20/2006 5:39:34 PM PST:

"love when shump gave ernest t the courtesy reach around when they were in the coat closet." - creecher from creecherville

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 4/27/2006 9:44:14 AM PST:

"My favorite line in this one is... "She called me a creechter! I ain't no CREECHTER!"" - Plowboy from Alabam

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/8/2005 8:15:32 PM PST:

"I'm back again, it's funny in this episode that Ms Wiley states that Mr. Schwamp tries to pinch Ernest T at the party when he is eating the watermelon....but no one knows who this character actor is...he was used more than once as a character...He appears in numerous episodes." - Randy from Tennessee

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 11/8/2005 8:10:27 PM PST:

"I'm like Doug from UT., I want to know who played Mr. Schwamp, he never said a thing, but stood out like a sore-thumb.." - Randy from Tennessee

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 9/29/2005 10:40:03 PM PST:

"Does anyone know the name of the actor who played the inimitable Mr. Schwump. I would lve to know if he ever had a speaking part. I've seen him as an extra in at least two Gomer Pyle episodes." - Doug from Utah

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 8/16/2005 7:45:50 PM PST:

"It's sad when a special actor like Howard Morris passes on. I don't think there is an episode with him in it that deserve to be rated less than eight or nine." - Bonnie from Arkansas

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 5/24/2005 2:34:25 PM PST:

"He's gone....... Howard Morris, creator of this hysterically inimitable character, passed away Saturday at 85. So long, Ernest T., and say how-do-you-do to Mrs. Wiilleeey....." - steve from mo

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 4/13/2005 11:04:15 PM PST:

"This is my favorite TAGS episode. I want to play it for my children and I can't find it on television. I have searched Amazon completely. Does anyone have it or know where I can get it? Thank you very much." - Steve from Phoenix

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 2/16/2005 2:35:24 PM PST:

"I have a trivia question that I am hoping to find an answer for. Through out this episode, Earnest T.'s love interest is known as and referred to as "Ramona". After the climatic final scene where Andy and Barney physically remove Earnest T. from Mrs. Willey's party, Ramona comes running up to Earnest T. and asks him if he is going to leave, because she would like him to stay. Earnest T.'s response is "Do you mean it "ROMEENA"?" Was this a mistake that was left in the show, or a deliberate changing of her name? In the two episodes featuring Earnest T. after this one, Earnest T. always refers to her as "Romeena". Once again, does anyone know if this was a mistake left in the show, or part of the original script??? " - Tim from Maryland

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 9/30/2004 12:14:54 PM PST:

" Whenever an episode features Ernest T., prepare for a trip into a bizarre, yet hilarious universe. The fact that the basic premise was inspired by the literary classic "Pygmalion", proves that this series has tremendous depth and intelligence. " - r.p. from virginia

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 9/13/2004 1:28:49 PM PST:

"A VERY POOR EPISODE. THIS LUNATIC SHOULD BE IN A STRAIT JACKET." - FREDDY MONTOYA from GALVESTON, TX

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/24/2004 1:08:37 AM PST:

""I guess I'll have to find a cave and hermitize myself." " - Terri from Indiana

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/31/2003 4:56:07 AM PST:

"My only fear about Ernest T. and Ramona hooking up is that they would constantly be throwing rocks through each other's windows. Ernest T. was kind of a nut, but poor old Ramona, I have the feeling she rode the short bus to school." - Kenneth S. Reedy, FLMI,PCS from Greensboro, NC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/16/2003 3:50:58 PM PST:

""How are you, Mrs. WI-LEY?"" - Megan from

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/7/2003 5:49:39 PM PST:

"I read somewhere that this episode was being filmed in November of 1963 when President Kennedy was assassinated. What a tribute to all of the participants that this episode bears no scars from that event." - John from Michigan

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/20/2003 11:37:01 AM PST:

"Just love this episode.......Mrs. Wiley. How do we get our hands on this one?" - Linda K from Valrico, FL

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/17/2003 7:25:43 AM PST:

"sorry I forgot to leave my email address! SinginLiLangeL13@aol.com Thanx!" - Ashleigh from Raleigh, NC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/17/2003 7:22:25 AM PST:

"Can anyone tell me where I can find this episode on DVD or VHS? Please I really need this episode for my brothers birthday because this is his favorite episode. So if anyone out there can help me, please email me!" - Ashleigh from Raleigh, NC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 5/24/2003 3:22:42 PM PST:

""Bachelor life ain't too bad if you can get enough chipmunks and squirrels to move in with ya."" - Doug from Texas

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 5/23/2003 1:25:06 PM PST:

"In response to a couple posts above, the song Ernest T. sang was in "Mountain Wedding." It goes like this: Old Aunt Moriah/Jump in the fire/Fire too hot/jump in the pot/Pot too black/Jump in the crack/Crack too high/Jump in the sky/Sky too blue/Jump in canoe/Canoe too shallow/Jump in the tallow/Tallow too soft/Jump in the loft/Loft too rotten/Jump in the cotten/Cotten so white she stayed there all night! " - Kenneth S. Reedy, FLMI,PCS,PAHM,ACS,ARA,AIRC,AIAA from Greensboro, NC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 1/7/2003 12:26:39 PM PST:

"As an assignment for his his drama class, my friend Ed had to perform a scene from a theatrical work. He chose Barney's pantomime of "how to enter a party" for his performance. He was brilliant! " - Rick from San Jose, California

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 1/5/2003 7:09:13 PM PST:

"Somebody please give me the words to the song he sang that went something like...fire got hot, jumped from the pot. My neighbors and I would love to know the words to the whole song." - Kenny from Virginia Beach

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 12/17/2002 7:04:44 PM PST:

"One word -- CREACH-TER! 'Nuff said." - KParke from Pittsburg, KS

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 12/5/2002 11:19:24 AM PST:

"Even the things that we don't see, but only hear about are funny, like Mrs. Wiley's description that he dunked the napkins in the punchbowl and threw them on the ceiling, and ate all of the watermelon rind. a RIOT!" - jeff from NYC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/11/2002 11:51:54 PM PST:

"As far as I'm concerned,this is THE episode of episodes! Unbelievable humor throughout the whole show-someone commented they could'nt finish this phrase-it goes-"no coffee,tea or punch,thaaaank you."" - joe laudico from Rochester,NY

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 9/9/2002 7:49:25 PM PST:

"My wife and I quote this episode all the time. This is the best line: Ramona: "it rained yesterday, you know." Bass: "Yea, I know . . . I was right there in it!" Any time we see something first hand, it's "I was right there in it!"" - Aaron from Utah

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/20/2002 8:52:03 PM PST:

"I like the part where andy asked if anyone tryed to stop him,and they say that mr swamp did,he tryed to pinch him" - james from forest city n.c

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 7/10/2002 2:05:59 PM PST:

"i really love this episode and i want to know if there is a way to watch these shows online while im on my lunch breal this would make my day easier" - julian hampton from sac. ca.

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 2/16/2002 6:18:12 AM PST:

"Throughout Ernest T.'s five episodes, you got to see more and more vulnerability in his character. That is what made him so lovable...if he would have just been a one-dimensional character, then everone would have gotten tired of him. "I ain't no creach-ture!" " - Kenneth S. Reedy from Greensboro, NC

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 2/7/2002 4:23:14 PM PST:

"Don't forget that the ever popular Mr. Schwump appears near the beginning of this episode!" - from

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 1/29/2002 2:54:58 PM PST:

"Although I have only seen it 4 times this is my all time favorite episode! The rapport between the characters was very sharp for this episode. Barney comparing the women at the party to dogs and then saying something like "If you flushed a quail through the room every woman in it would point" is one of the funniest I have ever heard. For the whole episode it just seemed like everybody was on top of their game. From the writers on down to the cast. Great Stuff!" - Rock Cesario from Grand Junction Colorado

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 1/18/2002 1:57:25 PM PST:

"This episode led to lots of running jokes in my family. Every so often, something will make one of us will say, "How dooo yoooou dooooo, Mrs. Wiiiiiiiley?" and everybody else will crack up. We kinda like Ernest . . . and the Darlings. Gotta love the Darlings!" - Amy from Columbus, OH

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 12/18/2001 11:18:45 AM PST:

"My Fair Ernest T. is a classic. He is my favorite. I love the line in this one where andy id trying to get him speak correctly, and he asks him why he talks through his nose. Ernest T. politely tells Andy, "Sos I can talk Whilest I eat!" Classic " - Mark Capps from Originally from North Carolina now in Colorado

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/6/2001 7:10:56 PM PST:

"Love this episode -- as do all of them. Especially when Ernest T.Bass says "How do you do Mrs. W-i-l-e-y". Later, he's talking on the front porch with Ramona & she keeps talking about the weather - it's a lovely day(if it don't rain) -- etc. when Ernest T. says Ramona, do you have to keep talking about rain? He's so funny. " - Terrie from Hot Springs,AR

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 8/8/2001 3:07:41 PM PST:

"This is one of my favorite episodes. Ernest T.'s "girl", Ramona, Jackie Joseph, was married to Ken Berry in real life. Who, of course, went on with Mayberry R.F.D. Ernest T. is my favorite character on the Andy Griffith show - next to Barney Fife, of course!" - Jodi Barrett from Redkey, Indiana

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 6/19/2001 8:31:58 PM PST:

"Although Ernest T Bass only appears in five episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, he is one of the most memorable characters. My Fair Ernest T Bass demonstrates the reason for this longevity. The physical comedy when Andy & Barney are trying to get him out of Mrs Wiley's house is CLASSIC!!! I don't think that every action was written into the script. The actors were probably told that the objective was to get Ernest T out of the house --- and then they just let them go." - Daniel Lord from North Carolina (of course)

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 5/24/2001 11:10:21 AM PST:

"No coffee ,tea ,or punch ,thank you! I think the Ernest T. episodes are the best of the best. They make me laugh every time. Howie Morris was great." - William Kopacko from Uniontown,Pa.

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 5/5/2001 5:27:01 PM PST:

"Does anyone remember the phrases Andy taught Ernest T Bass to use at Ms Wiley's party? 1. How do you do Ms. Wily? 2. No Coffee, ?????? Does anyone remember? " - Gary Mitchell from Corinth Ms

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 2/9/2001 2:01:14 AM PST:

"I really liked when they were eating. There was a big bowl of baked potatoes. Opie asked Ernest T to pass the potatoes. He reaches in the bowl and hands Opie one. Andy says no you have to pass the whole thing so Ernest T. Grabs all of the potatoes in his hands instead of the bowl. Only in Mayberry!" - Ryan Warren from Kanorado Kansas

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 1/12/2001 11:11:34 AM PST:

"Wonderful website! Howabout a tribute to the Dillards?!!" - Craig from colorado

comment about 'My Fair Ernest T. Bass' posted 10/14/2000 8:53:09 PM PST:

"Could you tell me what the T stands for in Ernest T. Bass? My e-mail is 2 dashes or hyphens..........--Green-Eyes--@excite.com Thank you very much." - Anne from Ohio